More than a memory...

So I was going through my drafts and I found this. I guess I wrote this way back in Dec 2010. Reading this now, almost a year since, brought a big wide smile to my face. To all the people I met in Mauritius, this one is for you guys... <3

Another conversation with my friend, another point of argument, another topic for my blog... :)
This time it was about my Internship in Mauritius.... this friend thought it was a waste of my time and money, cos according to her, I went there, didn't even get any experience, got ill and came back...
The way she made it sound, I bet even you all must be thinking my friend is probably right and I shouldn't even argue with her....

But the fact remains, my 13 days in Mauritius were the BESTEST 13 days of my life... (except 5 days in the hospital :(( )

And yes, it was a 'one of a kind' experience....
*We were 8 people from different parts of the world.. (New Zealand, Singapore, Brazil, India, Romania, Columbia) n we'd gotten together to conduct sessions for students of this university in Mauritius...


So about what I really learnt from my Internship???

• That Mauritius is truly HEAVEN ON EARTH!! (beaches <3) 
• Emirates is the WORST airlines EVER! 
• That in this mean, bad cruel world, there still are people who go out of their way to help a totally unknown person… (the phone guy at the airport, Sidick, Vijay, Dina Jeetah, Bilkiss, Sarah, Rifa, Nabiila, Bob, Zuu) 
• That when you've just exchanged your currency for one with more value, you begin to think everything around you is so costly and you wonder why your buying anything at all (we paid 1000 Mauritian rupees for a one hour taxi ride... Back home we'd pay about 300 INR for the same) 
• I learnt that in most cases, first impression is not really the last impression... and that people who seem to be scary at the first glance (Cosmin..:D) are really super nice people... and nice people sometimes turn into bigtime meanies... (me) (Yesha, Im sorry… L) 
• That time-difference is a bitch!! (yeah, the first day I woke up at 3am, cos my phone was set at IST) 
• That the only way to make up for lost sleep is on the bus ride to wherever.... 
• That when you’re 8 people with one bathroom and you have to all get up, take bath and be ready for that 8 ‘o clock bus, keeping the house clean is the last thing on your mind. 
• That when you finally decide to clean the messy house before you throw a party, it’s a terrible nightmare!!!!! 
• That internet is a wonderful invention and it is absolutely NOT supposed to be taken for granted! 
• That when you meet someone who speaks a different language, the 1st things you wanna learn are the swear words of that language. 
• That sometimes when you think you know a foreign language, and you speak to people who have grown up speaking that language, you completely make a fool out of yourself. (I sang “Frère Jacques” to the students there… and I bet they thought I was stupid or something) 
• That not everyone is lucky enough to have friends like Janki… <3 
• That if you ever wanna learn to have fun, learn it from the South Americans, cos they know it best... (Thomas, Alberto) 
• That the Chinese guy I met, was just what I always expected “Chinese” people to be...(Wenjun) 
• That every place you go, you always need someone to take care of you, to be your mommy (Tina <3) 
• That you need one friend, who you fight with all the time, but eventually he is also the one you listen to and the one who tells you things like they really are, not like they should be… (retard) :D 
• That really amazing friendship is the one that survives all kinds of bullshit (yeshaaaa) 
• And finally, I realized that AIESEC is truly AWESOME!

Letting Go...

In recent times, I've completely caught myself off guard by taking the high road in one too many arguments. So surprising, that I almost don't believe it. I'm not the kind of person who lets the other person win in an argument. But if they are of the opinion that winning an argument against me makes their day... i guess i'll let them have it. :P

A very close friend once told me, "Ashwin, forgive XYZ. The fact that you still can't forgive her for her mistakes doesn't bother her at all. Actually, you are the one that gets troubled and annoyed by the thought of her."

To the same 'very close friend' I wanna say... "I sometimes wish you weren't, but damn, ur ALWAYS right. And because of you and only you, I forgive her fully. ☺" Ym ♥.

JUST LET IT GO.... cos maybe the next thing coming your way is much much better than what you just left behind. 

Always remember,

"If you wanna fly, u gotta give up the shit that weighs you down"

A hundred days have made me older....

October 15, 8.00 p.m

When horrible unwanted disagreements are happening around you, you tend to stop and think about why all the crap is happening. then you think of all the possible things you could have done to stop those bad bad things from happening. Then you have two options.. your instincts tell you to run... run as far away as you can to avoid dealing with the problem. In most cases that is the option you pick. The other option is (obviously) to stay back and work it out...

whichever option you pick, you must know that it is going to affect you in some way. Its gonna leave a mark. Its gonna alter your relationships for good. And you know what is worse? you cant do anything about that either... you just accept it and move on...

Shit Happens.Life is a bitch.BLAH.

October 19, 11.00 p.m

Okay.. all that was written in a bout of irritation. Now when I read it, I'm thinking, "ohmygod, i just wrote a whole lot of crap" But you know what.. I'm going to post this anyway. Cos when I wrote it, it totally made sense to me. Actually this crap makes sense to me even now. I know people might not see it the way I mean it. I know this might create more misunderstandings. But at least I'm expressing what I feel. and that makes me happy. And every once in a while, you need to do things that make you happy. Just.

Musings of a frustrated _______

I'll leave the "______" to your imagination... Its supposed to be a noun/adjective that fits me.. (kinda obvious, huh!)
*****

Ever had that sinking feeling when you just know something is gonna go wrong... that something bad is going to happen.. I'm kinda having the same feeling right now...with all that's happening around me,,,

NOT GOOD!!

*****

In just one day(today) I've learnt a lot about MONEY... gosh, it matters so much to some people... they just wanna keep it all to themselves. Sometimes I wonder if everyone thinks that way... If they do, then the worlds really turning into a sad, unhappy place... to the "some people" who I respect n love very much and idolize a lot too, GIVE IT UP!! your money is not gonna grow unless you spend it too!! :x

*****

Let me tell you something about basic protocol... If someone calls you, your usually supposed to call them back or at least leave a message asking them why they called in the first place!!!!

CALL ME BACK ALREADY!!!

*****

Here's a thing about surprises, THEY SUCK!! cos you're just expecting something u want, and then someone surprises you... and they think u like the surprise, but you really only want what you asked for...

*****

Its really terrifying when a horrible, scary dream seems so real that you just cant sleep any longer.... When that happens, there's only one thing you can do...

HOPE.

Hope that the night will pass and that you wont have to be afraid anymore.

*****

Something about me only a select few know.... I SLEEP-TALK... I was surprised when I got to know about it... Its fascinating, really... I'd love to know what I sleep-talk about.. :P

*****

Moms are awesome... They know just the right things to say every time!!! 

and MOM, i'm not really vocal about my feelings but know that I LOVE YOU... :)

*****

ahhh... now I feel better... Writing helps, I guess... Why was I ever stupid enough to think that I could stop writing altogether.... :o :|

Life is what you make it.

For the past few months, things have been a little off..

To my horror, I seemed to have lost all interest in writing and reading, I realized that I'd been totally demotivated by many events... Boredom does that to people a lot.

But then, today I read this amazing book, "Life is what you make it" by Preeti Shenoy. ( http://preetishenoy.com/index.html )

The book ends with the protagonist surviving many ordeals because a complete stranger had so much faith in her. I wanted to connect with the protagonist at that level... but instead, I ended up with hundreds of questions swarming in my head about many different things (some stuff like theism which is in no way related to the book) :P


Reading the book also made me question many parameters of my own life... You know, the kind of thoughts that really get you thinking...
Does anyone have that sort of faith in me? A person who knows my gray shades but still blindly trusts the "good" in me to overcome every obstacle?
what makes me the kind of person I am?
If I behave in a certain way, is it because of my past experiences or is it because of my contemplations about the future?
Whatever it is, how do I get it across to the people who matter?
Talking about the 'people who matter', do I matter to them equally, or are my emotions totally one sided and futile?
And the questions go on...

As I sat in my favourite "dark corner" of the house and searched for answers to these questions...
I realized that everyone needs that thrust, that proverbial "ray of hope" to keep them going in the right direction.. and when you think about it over and over again..feel lost and want to give up... remember that Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the lights. :))

Still, I promise to myself, I will find answers to these questions some day, and put them up in another blog post... :)

For now, I'll leave you with a few lines from the poem mentioned in the beginning of the book....

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate;
I am the captain of my soul.

Over the rainbow, so high.....

I'm back to writing.. after what I call a *short* sabbatical aimed at self introspection... which did me good, if i might add....

All these days... i've known what was missing.. that motivation to write.. that fear *what if i screw up again* That guilt..

But something happened today that made me wanna forget all the things i've mentioned above..

But before i get to it, lets talk Seasons....

In India, theres pretty much only 3 seasons....

Winter... thats my most favourite.... Its not freezing cold.. but its chilly enough to make you wanna shut all the windows and tuck in under that warm fuzzy blanket... n sleep a little longer than you usually do.... Winter is the time I feel all snug and safe... Anddd best of all... two of my favourite festivals come during winter.... Diwali (cos of the lights, not the firecrackers) and Christmas (cos everyone seems happier than usual during christmas and cos I love christmas carols n cos New Years round the corner!! )

The Summers are the WORST!!! The heat nearly kills.. and nothing makes it go awayy!! :*(

And we have the Monsoon... (i've always wondered why we call it that :o )

which brings me back to the incident that happened today... IT RAINED...Dark clouds in the sky... the weather going  from unbearably hot to mild and windy... Then there was thunder... and lightening... And I watched from my window... little kids laughing and playing, their little hands outstretched to feel the raindrops... and the smell of wet earth... just too awesome...

I have quite a lot of great memories attached with the monsoons....

jumping in those muddy puddles with Keerti... those great volleyball matches we used to have (n it always rained when we were playing) knowing that even if you have an umbrella, ur clothes are still gonna get wet... The bike rides with dad...those times when (i know this is gonna sound really cliched) all you need is a perfect seat by the window, a good book and a cup of steaming hot filter coffee (yes, im South Indian) and you feel that you could live like this forever... ohhh and the bhutta n vadapav.... (yuummm....) and when the neighbour's little kid sings 'rain, rain, go away..' and all you can say is "awwwww'... and i could go on like this FOREVER...

From where I come, people HAVE TO have an opinion about the rains.. some love it... some despise it... others like the rains, but only if they're indoors wen its raining....

I know theres a lot of negatives to the monsoons... the unplanned city (Mumbai) gets flooded, there are power cuts, blah blah blah....Then there the environmentalists with the Global Warming crap.... about how its raining sooner than the MET department predicted (yeah, like any of their predictions are ever right...) 

But can we just, for one small minute, forget about everything else, and think of the smiles it brings to the people of the city... I mean, in Mumbai, the city of dreams, there are soo many people who dont know where they're gonna sleep that night and whether they're gonna earn enough money to provide food for their families.. They dont give a damn about Global Warming...

For the beggars, monsoons mean bad roads, more people travelling by vehicles and cabs, meaning more traffic at the signals, i.e more people who might just see them getting drenched in the rain and feel pity for them and give them an extra rupee or two...
For lovers, maybe its sharing an umbrella while sitting at the Marine Drive or Bandra Bandstand..
For school Kids, its the opportunity to let loose and play in the puddles while returning from school...
For women..i guess for most women, its about shopping for 'rainwear' or watever...

Bottomline is PEOPLE LOVE RAIN.... :))


Im gonna leave you here, to think over something i read somewhere...

 "Whoever said Sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the Rain."