'Cause what this palace wants is release~

Concentric groups
You're as much a culprit as any of the others..
How does it feel to be on the other side, victim?

This hurricane is called the Blame Game and you're caught up in the eye... How's the view, loser? Liking the pointy fingers? All closing in on you?!

•••••••••

The past is always like that.. Drift drift... Never meet again. If by some shocking coincidence you meet, there's a wall of awkwardness. Silence. Weather. Politics. Meaningless chatter. All that was important once, is now lost in a time-distance vacuum.

Everyone's always talking crap about 'change'... going on about how much change sucks.. And how they wish everything could remain the same forever.. I'm sure I too, was caught up in this 'change-hating' rut... But a little 'change' of mind (get it? get it? get it?) has happened in the little jobless time I've had so far... Call it maturity if you will..

Change is amazing... It helps some reconnect. It helps some overcome. It helps some heal. It helps some reminisce. It helps some learn. It helps some grow...It helps everyone cope.

When you embrace change with open arms, it no longer bothers you when someone's 'read' your message and not replied; or when you say something funny and no one laughs... You learn to take such things in your stride.. You learn to not necessarily forget... But most certainly forgive people...

And life moves on.....  :)

Something's getting in the way, something's just about to break~

Its one of those moments. One of those moments when you're caught up. Caught up in a mixture of happy-sad emotions. Happy, cos the goal was achieved. Sad cos you contributed nothing to it. At all. You just want to curl up into a ball and cry till you eyes dry out. I blame it on the confusion. Do they actually like you or is it a façade? Another confusion. Curling up and crying in the midst all this confusion, your mask comes off. They get to know your just a whiny, jealous person. But that's not the real you. Its just another layer of the mask. Another layer that gets peeled off. Just like that.

What is the real you? Beneath all of that plastic? Do you know?

This may just be the confusion talking... but I don't think I know even 50% of who I really am. I'd like to think, this concept of 'knowing oneself' is basically moot. That's because there really is no 'ME'. There's just a string of events. Of situations. And every different situation brings out a different 'ME'

So don't judge people just by how they react to one situation. They say 'You're only as good as your last failure'. I refuse to believe in lasts, cos everyday is a new one.

Those who don't like you don't know what they're missing out on. ;)

"As I look the other way, I still try to find my place"

p.s- Everything written above is angry rambling. Now, that I'm more composed, I've read it again, and I still choose to post it. I really don't know why. JUST.

And I still refuse to be a skeptic....~

Came to Gandhinagar on the 7th of July. Since then, nothing, and I mean NOT ONE THING has gone right.... lost phone, non-weird people acting weird, my go-to person is not my go-to person anymore, money just seems to be flying out of my wallet all on its own (I swear! its true!), lost a friend or two (no, they're not dead), Reliance is, by far, the worst telecom service provider EVER!; and i can keep writing on... but it just brings back bitter memories... (yes, they are memories..cos i still remember them :/)

You'd think it cant get any worse than this.... but then that's cos you don't have a professor that makes you feel like you're the dumbest person on the face of the Earth... I actually do. And boy! is it terrifying... you just know he's going to ask something you don't really know the answer to... and you're gonna curse the very day you were born...

I'm blabbering again... right?

So... moving on...

Two very basic concepts...
1) Live and let live...
2) If you're a happy person, don't rub it in!!

Happy much?? Don't make us gloomy, crabby people feel like we are fails in life!!!

And what is with this compulsive habit of taking every issue into your hands?? Who made you lot the God of issue-management??? just be and let us be!!!

Hahaha... i know... I'm dreaming of Utopia...

Speaking of.... You know this world peace bullshit?? its not ever happening... took me long enough to understand and get over the whole "anything war can do, peace can do better" shit. (wont stop me from wearing the tee, though...)

People thrive on violence... its what gives them a sense of adventure... a sense of satisfaction... every night...thousands people pray to their respective Gods, thanking the Gods for getting them through another day in this world full of bomb blasts, vehicle accidents, sexual harassment, natural disasters and what not... I know there are others who are not so lucky, but that's just the circle of life...

I believe that everything in life has BALANCE. In a country like India where mortality rates are comparatively high and the population is so high... poverty, crime and bomb blasts help maintain balance in the area... In places like Japan, where population is very less and mortality rate is very very low... earthquakes, tsunamis, volcanoes and nuclear mishaps occur to keep the balance...

I also happen to believe that, if something is meant to happen, it will... by all means, happen... So all I've gotta do is try and get over all these 'problems' I've faced and move on... They were destined to happen and so they did...

Finally,

Live in the moment and believe in destiny... And you'll never regret any decision you ever made~

Cos forever is a really long time...~

TO BE READ IN JUNE 2032

Dear 40 year old me,

Hows it going, old lady?? You single? married? Kids? No kids? Happy? Unhappy? I hope its all 'sugar, spice and everything nice' when you are reading this... I hope ur reading this in a gazebo in Bali... or maybe in Central Park... remember how you always wanted to go there? Or maybe in Eastern Europe... wowww... the adventures I'm gonna get into!!!

On this day, 20 years ago you had an amazing bike ride in the rain with your dad. Its gonna be one of the best memories you've had.. so cherish it. Even today.

Tell me one thing... did i ever lose weight in these past 20 years? Haha... if I did, im mighty proud of myself... if i didnt... well.. i'll definitely start tomorrow... :D Remember all these amazing people you knew from college?? Are you still in touch with all of them? You better be!! Cos I can vouch for the fact that they're too awesome to lose.

I bet you dont remember half the cool things you've done so far.. it'll be one hell of a lengthy post if i actually list down every bit of awesomeness that came out of us... but let me tell you one thing... You have nothing to be ashamed of. You had a great two decades... met amazing people... got great gifts for your birthday... you have never been surprised so far... so if mine or your friends read this earlier, they better take the cue... :D

People considered you to be really immature and childish back when you were 20. Lemme tell you one thing... i know the decisions you have taken, the choices and sacrifices you have made... and none of them have been anywhere close to childish... so dont take peoples' comments to heart...

I know you must have changed over time... everyone changes... but i hope your sense of humor is still intact... I hope that even now, at any point, you're still the funniest person in the room...

Truckloads of love,
Your twenty year-old self...

Cos we cant jump the track, we're like cars on a cable...~

A post long overdue.

So a leaf fell from a mighty old tree. Does the tree go around asking for sympathy for its lost part? Or does it mourn for a few minutes and get back to its job of creating more leaves?

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Secluded, alone, no bonds, no ties, no affection, no attraction, no love... hard life, a life like that... but guess what.... *challenge accepted!*

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Pune. Environment. Living alone. Excitement. Exploring. Learning to ride a motorbike. Das awesome German. Ich heiße Ashwini. CO2. Trekking. Photography. Afrocircus. King Julien. McDonalds saturation. Sustainable Transportation. So far, sooo good. I ♥ Pune.

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Game of Thrones!!! So amazing!!! Favourite Character... Arya Stark... Valar Morghullis, baby!!! :D But I'm currently in that phase where I'm happy cos I've read so much and its so good... but sad cos I have noone to discuss it with... :/

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Its gonna be a peaceful 20th birthday... phones off by 10... lay low all day. Just cos I feel like it... Dont know why. Maybe its just 'growing up'... That doesnt one bit change how epic the day really is, though... Super excited!!!!!

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Love will keep us alive... ~

Talking to people, reading newspapers, watching tv, surfing the internet, or just taking a walk down the street....everything I seem to do these days proves one fact over and again.... We live in such a screwed up world!!!

Theres the environment which is screwed up... the glaciers are melting, the temperatures are rising, theres earthquakes, tsunamis, the greenhouse effect, nuclear explosions and what not...

Then the economy... any country you pick, their economy is screwed beyond repair... When you get to the nuances of the economy of countries like Greece or even the US or India for that matter, you realize what "shit" really is, and how deep humankind is buried in it...

Next come the policy-makers... the politicians... these crooks are paid by the people to be their voice at a national level... and what do they do? Cheat, bribe, use public money for private purposes, interfere, ruin... and basically do everything they can do wrong.
Can the honest politician please stand up?

And then there are the common people... Us... with our sad little teary eyes... harassed and troubled from every angle humanly possible... The humble race... WAIT! We are no less... no less at all... we bloody well know our rights... but the duties? I dont think so... And why is that? We dont take responsibility... Yet we're the first ones to point a finger at those who do...
Double Standards, anyone??

And thats not even half of how screwed up this world is....

After all this, guess what we learn in college...? Sustainable Development... use of resources in such a way that theres plenty for the furure generations...
YEAH.OKAY.We'll do all the sustainable development you want us to do. But do you really want to bring your children into such a screwed up world??
That, apparently, is the million dollar question...

Ask me, and i'd tell you I wish the Mayan prediction is true. This world really needs to end. The madness has to stop. The sooner the better...

When I started writing this post, I was going to end it with the classic "but LOVE will keep us alive" but as I near the end, it hits me.... Even love is not enough for this world... so what we need is one big apocalypse!!!!

That Weirdo with 5 Colours in her Hair...

Arguments... spats... tiffs... fights... duels... disagreements... all of them, i've had. You gotta know when to give up on an argument... and when to hang on to your point...

At what point does it all really stop mattering? So you said something and another person disagreed...and you persistantly stuck to your point. In the end..turns out you were right all along... that very moment you feel ecstatic...but thats all there is to it. That moment. And once that moment has passed, no one gives a damn bout whether you were right or wrong... not even you.

So does that mean we spend countless hours of our proverbial 'only one life' doing an absolutely pointless activity?? I dont know.. but then again.. im no one to judge...considering i'm the one coming up with this pointless post anyway...

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People are complicated. You never know what they're gonna say or do next. They're unpredictable like that. And it annoys me to no end... the fact that you're not prepared for when they say silly things or do mean things.
A little heads up should always be given. My opinion.

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The title of this post.. i want to be that someday. I want to be the weirdo with five colours in her hair.
I want to drive an auto.
I want to run crazy on the roads when theres traffic.
I want to eat at a restaurant and run away without paying. Once.
I want to be courageous enough to go up to a person and tell hem how much i dislike them.
I want to try out every occupation in the world which doesn't have any contact with animals, birds or the like.
I want to be brave enough to adopt a pup. (And name it Box)
I want to pack a bag and just leave... hitchhike around the country and then the world.
I want to meet all the people i idolize so much.
I want to show my parents how greatful i am for all that they've given me.
I want to be the reason people dont throw waste anywhere other than the bin..even at the cost of these people hating me.
I want to taste everything that is possibly eaten and drunk around the world.
I want to do, have and be a million things i am not.

Someday.

And when the day comes, there will be a blogpost.